This is Pt 2 concerning the positive account of once being an (ever so) needy greedy miser who eventually did see the light. I even wrote a song about it to alleviate supressed tensions and to sing to my friends (inanimate ones of course, say no more).
On a serious note, I therefore wish to share this experience of disillusionment that was prior to reading and understanding QXP and the forum to which I now feel cleansed in doing so.
Let me explain, if you did not read my last post on this first part then the following link will make more sense, here it is:
My story goes, my mother passed away some time ago and even though the emotions are still raw to some extent, I really needed to positively reflect. Having looked back constructively and honestly at my attitude, behaviour and greed prior to my mum passing away, I realised what an absolute, ruthless miser I became and honestly it is just beyond me now when thinking about it. Believe me, when you have so much money at hand the need for greed takes over (at least in my case) and you want more and more by ‘hook or crook,’ my favourite catch phrase used to be.
After my mother passed away. I had a vivid dream that my deceased father appeared before me (it was surreal) and chopped a head off another and threw it in the bin in fiery anger. I now clearly understand that this was due to my subconscious guilt.
Basically, I had spent my mother’s £6,500 and when it came to the funeral. I tried to acquire this from the rest of the family, unaware that they knew that my mother had the money saved for her own funeral costs as that was her wish, due to being a proud woman. Now, because she could not speak for the last few years of her life, I was sure that I could get away with it as no one could verify this otherwise. My brother did ask me and I first put forward this excuse but quickly realising that I lied in the mosque, I decided to then come clean and said it got spent on the house hold bills. I grudgingly had to then cough up myself which I did find hard parting with my hard earned money (at the time I thought so) albeit with a bit of the odd complaining and squabbling here and there to others who were not fully aware of my deceit.
You see, from this I would have had an extra few thousand on top and justified this to myself that, well everyone should pay (even though my mother was cared for by myself and my younger sister, knowing full well my mother would not have been happy with this.
When finally asked about this situation by others, I said that the money that I asked a good friend to look after (for my mother’s funeral) was in with the thousands upon thousands that was stolen from me. In actual fact most of it was the money that I had scammed off friends and subordinates in the pyramid scheme I was operating, as I was the lead for the area. My friend at the time took that money from me and gave it back to those who I initially stole it from in the first place. I just spent my mothers funeral money and had to pay that back in the end. The cost came to much less than the £6,500 my mother gave to me to look after. Even worse, I was still asking for money from family members to be put towards the headstone after the funeral, even though I had lots of cash already. There really was no boundaries to my need for greed and shameless intentions I can tell you.
In summary, I learned that money can not only change a person but he or she can become this utterly, ruthless needy greedy miser/monster. Indeed, I have learned from this and now a completely reformed man thanks to QXP and the forum. Regardless, I am still referred to a Scrooge, I don't think I will ever get rid of that now, but hey, I have changed for the better and feel goof about it.