Our Beacon Forum

10 ways to raise our children's self-esteem
By:Mariam Swabura, Uganda
Date: Tuesday, 3 October 2017, 1:31 pm

10 ways to raise our children's self-esteem:

1. Give them a good name - a name with a good meaning or after a pious person: a name to live up to and hold their heads up high with.

2. Stop labelling them or putting them down! Labels can be very limiting and impact self-esteem ('the funny one', 'the clever one', 'the clumsy one', 'liar', 'dumb') as children are constantly looking for external information about who they are.

3. Teach them our history as Muslims and the history of your own family and homeland. Teach them about the great characteristics and stories of their Islamic ancestors.

4. Tell them and show them you love them often - with kisses and hugs.

5. When you make a mistake be sure to say 'sorry' to your child. It shows them their feelings are worthy of being considered by others.

6. Praise them and notice the good - every child craves their parents approval. Tell your daughter she is pretty but don't make her looks your only praise of her.

7. Listen to your child with the intent to understand not with intent to reply! Put that phone down & show them they're worthy of being given your undivided attention.

8. Teach them as per the prophetic recommendation of swimming (for self-reliance), archery (for focus), horse riding (for confidence). Or similar skills/pursuits.

9. Stop comparing them to their siblings & to your friend's children! They are great in their own unique way.

10. Spend one-to-one time with each of your children - take him or her out for a treat and reconnect with their world. They'll cherish the memories in years to come. Insha Allah.
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1. Give them a good name - a name with a good meaning or after a pious person: a name to live up to and hold their heads up high with.

2. Stop labelling them or putting them down! Labels can be very limiting and impact self-esteem ('the funny one', 'the clever one', 'the clumsy one', 'liar', 'dumb') as children are constantly looking for external information about who they are.

3. Teach them our history as Muslims and the history of your own family and homeland. Teach them about the great characteristics and stories of their Islamic ancestors.

4. Tell them and show them you love them often - with kisses and hugs.

5. When you make a mistake be sure to say 'sorry' to your child. It shows them their feelings are worthy of being considered by others.

6. Praise them and notice the good - every child craves their parents approval. Tell your daughter she is pretty but don't make her looks your only praise of her.

7. Listen to your child with the intent to understand not with intent to reply! Put that phone down & show them they're worthy of being given your undivided attention.

8. Teach them as per the prophetic recommendation of swimming (for self-reliance), archery (for focus), horse riding (for confidence). Or similar skills/pursuits.

9. Stop comparing them to their siblings & to your friend's children! They are great in their own unique way.

10. Spend one-to-one time with each of your children - take him or her out for a treat and reconnect with their world. They'll cherish the memories in years to come. Insha Allah.