Dear Sister, W'A
This question has come up many times before.
THE DIVORCE PROCEDURE
Muslims in general get confused at the hands of Mullahs, the so-called Ulama. The obvious reason is their abandonment of the Book of Allah. Here is the clear, Ultimate Qur’anic Guidance.
THERE IS NO DIVORCE UNDER DURESS
The Qur’an gives some very important and clear Laws for divorce. 2:228 (The couple may reconcile even during ‘Iddah = Waiting period before the wife’s remarriage), 4:6 (Both must be able to understand their finances before marriage), 4:19 (No such thing as Khula’! Women have the right to divorce as well. Both must be able to grant free consent), 4:35 (Marriage is a very solemn, legal contract. Two wise arbiters must try to reconcile between the husband and wife for three months), 58:1-3 (Foolish utterances do not count), 65:1-4 (Never expel divorced women from THEIR homes. Their must be two witnesses in writing for divorce).
NO ROOM FOR INSTANT DIVORCE: According to the Qur’an, there is absolutely no room for an instant divorce. The process must take months with involvement of arbiters in order to allow reconciliation between the husband and wife.
THE QUR’AN DISREGARDED: It is highly unfortunate and shameful that Muslim jurists have been ignoring and practically revoking these clear verses of the Book of Allah for centuries, in favor of their own conjecture. According to their exploitative and erroneous edicts, if a husband utters the word "Divorce" three times in anger or under any kind of duress or even in a stage drama or movie, divorce takes effect instantly. What a mockery of the Qur’an! They are then decrared unlawful for each other and anyone eating or drinking in their homes commits Haraam!
THE SOMERSAULT: It is interesting to note that the so called Fuqaha (Jurist Mullahs) who otherwise uphold Hadith in preference to the Word of Allah, conveniently disregard even their 'treasure' whenever it suits their whims or purpose. In this instance, there is a Hadith in Ibn Majah. The exalted Prophet is reported to have said, La talaqa fil Ighlaq = There is absolutely no divorce under any kind of duress, coercion, suddenness, anger etc. This Hadith which is in total harmony with the Qur’an remains obscure to or hidden by the Ulama.
HOMES BELONG TO WOMEN: 65:1 O Prophet! When you men intend to divorce women, make sure that the waiting period is observed. Keep precise account of this interim period. Be mindful of Allah, your Lord. Never expel them from THEIR homes, nor shall they themselves leave their homes unless they commit open immorality. ----.
TWO WITNESSES FOR DIVORCE, 65:2 And so, when they have reached their waiting term, either retain them in kindness or part with them in kindness. And let there be two just persons among you to witness, and establish the evidence straight for Allah. -----.
ARBITERS: Three months of attempts to effect reconciliation by arbiters is one of the pre-requisites for divorce. 4:35 (Families and communities must adopt a proactive approach regarding a husband and a wife in discord). If you fear a breach between a husband and wife, appoint two arbiters, one from his family and one from her family. If they decide to reconcile, Allah will help them get together. Verily, Allah is Knower, Aware.
THE ENTIRE DIVORCE PROCEDURE ALLOWED TWICE IN A LIFETIME:
2:229 In a given couple's lifetime, a divorce is permissible twice. (The whole period of divorce i.e. three menstruations / three months, or until delivery can be taken back twice). ------.
HALAALAH OR HARAAMAH? Here comes the most shameful deed unique to the Mullahs in the whole world. They maintain that for reconciliation, the senselessly divorced woman has to go through Halaalah (planned marriage with another man for one night followed by divorce in the morning. And it must involve sexual intercourse!). Mullahs offer their own "Noble Services" for being the bridegroom for one night and even charge a hefty fee for it! "Authorized" Halaalah offices abound in many so-called Muslim countries!
2:230 If a man divorces his wife on a third different time during their marital life, it shall be unlawful for him to remarry her. It may so happen that the woman marries another man, and those two do not get along, and the other husband divorces her. In that case, there is nothing wrong if both (the previous couple) decide to come together again, if they consider that they will be able to observe the Limits set by Allah. These Limits have been made clear for people to make use of the Divine gift of knowledge (and make no crookedness in the Straight Path). [There is no room in the Qur’an for the so-called ‘Halalah’, a shameful, manmade custom where a divorced woman is made to spend an intimate night with another man under wedlock with a preplanned divorce in the morning! I call it ‘Haramah’]
THERE IS NO ROOM FOR KHULA’: The word Khula' does not appear in the Qur’an. It is an Imamist fabrication meaning that a woman seeking divorce has to go to a court of law begging for it, a process that takes upto 30 years in the "Muslim" societies).
4:19 O You who have chosen to be graced with belief! It is not lawful for you to force women into marrying or holding on to them in marriage against their will. ------.