Now-a-days Shaytan has become a bit sophisticated in his deception technique. He has his own office now. It’s called “Dar-ul-Ifta” (fatwa factory). Here’s what happens there:
A highly distressed woman comes to this factory and says to the factory head “O’ mufti, I am ruined. My husband said “talaaq” three times in one breath a week ago. But now he wants to get back to me. What do I have to do?” The factory head (Mufti) says “You are doomed woman, now you have to go throgh Halalah”. “What’s tha, O’ Mufti?”, the woman asks showing a lot of anxiety. “Marry someone else for a limited time—a night or so—get soiled at least once and then get divorce—make sure you have your new husband understand the deal first, okay. Now go”.
Second woman walks into the fatwa factory and shouts “Save me, Mufti Ji, save me, pleeeese. My husband said ‘talaq’ three times but he was sleep-talking. He did not mean it.” The fatwa-monger says “It doesn’t matter how he said the triple talaq—you have to do Halalah” “I can help you if you pay me…..”. He whispers.
A third woman walks into the Fatwa court of the Shaytan and yells “Mufi Ji, I live in Saudia. I have a car but I am not legally allowed to drive. I desperately need a driver to drive me to my office but I can’t—the driver I hire will not be my “mehram”. What should I do?”. The Mufti becomes serious. He says “mmmmmm…eh….eh….mmmmmm…you need to have him suckled at your breasts a few times. That should make him mehram.”
Fatwa factories (Dar-ul-iftas—especially those in Saudia, and one in India (Indian Muslim Law Board), some in Karachi, for example, Jamiah Binoriya are fun places. You learn a lot at these places—even though what you learn is mostly trash.