Our Beacon Forum

Who is my child's father?
By:Surjit Kaur
Date: Tuesday, 27 April 2010, 3:14 pm

Child Support

When someone applies for Child Support, the proper thing to do is to
find out who the father is and see why he is not providing support. The
following are all replies that Memphis women have written on Child
Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details. Or
putting it another way ... Who's yo daddy? These are genuine excerpts
from the forms.

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins... child A was
fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of
child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was
being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can
provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party
if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl.
She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I had
unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex
was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father,
can you send me his phone number?

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter.
He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in
one of the door panels.
Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area
and see if he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian.
I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception
was immaculate and that he is Christ risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs
me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic
implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and
right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as
all blacks look the same to me.

8. Peter Smith is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him,
can you ask him what he done with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also
borned at the same time, well I don't have a clue.

9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney
World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that
I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in
the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going
to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized.

11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all
when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

Yep, you guessed it right - we are all paying taxes to support these
dim twits!