Dear Brother Jawaid, thanks for a sensible feed back. I am working on it. Reason it appears like this is that Qur'aanic Arabic and English are two different languages. If one were to try to be as close to word for word translation it gets like this, disjointed. However, more important in translation work is to get concepts across. So far, I am trying to keep it as close to word for word. This is, as you can see even natives starts getting distressed to find out what is the equivalent word in Arabic; when one tries to present lexical/concept translations. But I have researched science of translation as well. The newer recommendations from translation experts, also promote to just present lexical/concept, and just not word for word. So in next Sura I shall adopt the new stratgy.
Thanks a lot.